


Petals in the wind

by minoshat



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - War, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, M/M, Psychological Drama, baby I'm a sociopath sweet serial killer, cos I love you just a little too much, on the warpath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 19:07:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11812353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minoshat/pseuds/minoshat
Summary: Baby, I'm a sociopathSweet serial killer on a warpath‘Cause I love you just a little too muchI love you just a little too much





	Petals in the wind

**Author's Note:**

> Remember - A.N.G.S.T.
> 
> Last warning - read the tags.
> 
> Story previously posted on aff - you can find there more of my works.  
> http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view_author_stories/980546/L

 

 

 

 

 _We all are living in a dream_  
But life ain’t what it seems  
Oh everything’s a mess  
And all these sorrows I have seen  
They lead me to believe  
That everything’s a mess  
  
But I wanna dream  
I wanna dream  
Leave me to dream

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

War came as flowers needed to lose their petals – it was inevitable. More planes were flying above their heads. When he was laying on the field of sunflowers, Taehyun knew they were getting closer and closer.

“Hey sleepyhead!”

He opened his eyes to see a familiar silhouette before him. Mino sat near him like a kid, with a big smile, pointing at the sky.

“I can count twelve fighter aircrafts”, he said proudly. He was wearing an oversized, plain flannel shirt and undersized brown pants. The wind was playing with his black hair.

“There are fourteen”, Taehyun corrected him out of habit.

“Eh? Impossible.”

“See the ones from the south. There are four, not two. They hid behind the other aircrafts.” Taehyun explained slowly, flipping his hair. Already fourteen. It wasn’t a good sign.

“Aish. You’re too good at this.” Mino pouted. Taehyun smiled at the view. He liked this face the most.

“You’re just bad at it.” he teased and stretched his arms. He loved laying on the ground and observing the clouds above them. Those peaceful moments brought peace to his heart. Like everything he had gone through, nothing was his anymore. Like a cloud, nothing was real anymore. Just the sky, wind and Mino, surrounded by the sweet flower scent. He could drown in dreams of them spending their lives like this, hidden from the world.

“When we’re going to join the army, you’re going to shine.” Mino failed at hiding his jealousy. He always thought he was the best at everything, only to be proved wrong. At first Taehyun pitied him a little, but not anymore. Nowadays, he liked teasing Mino and making him blush, making him mad. That way he had all of his attention. And the sparks of admiration in his eyes were making Taehyun try even harder to be best of everything.

But the army…

Taehyun felt chills running down his spine. He wasn’t afraid of joining the army and battling in the war. Frankly, he wasn’t afraid of anything concerning himself, because he wasn’t that attached to life in the first place. He didn't love himself enough to care. But Mino was a different case. If anything had happened to him… The mere thought of losing him paralyzed him with fear. Mino was innocent – he still believed in things, in God, in the holy purpose of the war. He was still untouched by the evil of this world.

In contrary, Taehyun lived through it all. He had been abandoned by his own father, and he had watched his mother drinking herself to death. He had lived in the streets for too long, watching the dirt of the city every day. While he had been fighting for survival day after day, doing things he would never confess to anyone, he had eventually started to believe that he was just a dirt himself.

That was until he had met with that kid’s warm eyes.

Mino had appeared faraway. At the time sunflowers had been blossoming, and Taehyun had felt like summer had finally reached his heart. But now, autumn was coming and another war along with it.

“We didn’t get the letters, so maybe we won’t need to enlist.” Taehyun said, knowing it’s just a lie he created to believe in. The front line was getting closer, and more men from their neighborhood were enlisting every day. At least for today, they weren't the ones wearing uniforms and bidding goodbyes. Even if only for today, they could still smile in the field of sunflowers.

Untouched.

Unbroken.

United.

“It’s the two of you again!” the owner of the field was not a fan of visitors. They heard his dogs barking and running in their direction.

“Oh, shit.” Mino got up from the ground quickly and started to run, followed by Taehyun.

Taehyun looked at Mino’s running figure. Like a kid, Mino spread his arms, catching the wind. His loud laughter crossed the field, petals dancing around him. Taehyun couldn’t help but laugh with him. He too spread his arms shyly, catching the wind. He closed his eyes and let the sun kiss his face.

 

 _Mino, let’s run, let’s run like this forever._ _Let’s dream like this forever._

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

It took only two days for the letters to come.

They had to pack their bags and cut their hair. As he watched them falling on the floor, he felt like he was losing so much more.  

Before their last dinner, the whole family of Song prayed for their safe comebacks. Taehyun only pretended to do it as well. There was no God. Or maybe there was, but he had chosen to ignore Taehyun’s existence long ago. Maybe he was disappointed with his own creation. Maybe, in contrary to what Mino kept saying, he didn't love everyone, only the chosen ones. It wasn't like Taehyun thought he was worthy of his love anyway.  

He silently observed Mino bidding his last goodbyes to his sister and his mother, clad in an uniform. He was trying to act like a man, but his eyes were glassy. Eventually, he resorted to go to his room and find his sketchbook before he would burst into tears. _It’s not like he will need it_ , Taehyun thought. The things they would have to see weren't worth drawing anyway.

“Let the God guide you home safely.” Mino’s mother whispered into Taehyun’s ear and kissed his cheeks.

“I will bring him home”, Taehyun assured her and Danah, looking straight into their eyes. They knew who needed to come back home. They were just too polite to say it out loud. And Taehyun wasn't bothered about it. He was always impressed by their kind-heartedness. He was grateful for the home they had given him till now. It was time to pay back.

“We need to go.” Mino came back to the living room, trying to cover his red eyes. Taehyun nodded while smiling gently. He was always trying to behave like a man, but from within he was still a child. He had a soft heart. He loved people, and that love was going to cost him a lot. But it had also allowed Taehyun to enter his life.

They grabbed their backpacks and left the house. He caressed Mino’s hair, making him feel better. When Taehyun looked at the farm house and its white fences for one last time, he wondered if they would ever be able to come back, to come back to the days when they used to laugh together. He looked at Mino’s back.

 

_How will war change us? Will the boys from the field of sunflowers still live inside of us after it will all end? Will we run so carelessly ever again?_

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Both of them joined the troop of “Black Eagles”, commanded by a young captain Kang Seungyoon. As Mino had predicted, Taehyun was the best in combating and shooting. To his surprise, Mino was following him closely with his results. It was different to see Mino struggling so much and outdoing him. He kept running all night long to improve his stamina and training shooting so long his fingers were on the brink of breaking. There was only one person who could beat him in hard work: Kim Jinwoo. He came from a small village with a skinny, but a strong body. He had big eyes, something many women and men would kill for. It didn’t bother Taehyun at all. He was handsome himself, he knew that if there was something worthy about him, it had to be his face. All thanks to this face, he had survived in the streets. His face, his body – they had been everything he had had to sell for food. But not anymore. Now he had a knife and a gun. Now he could do it without reaching the darkness again. He slowly went back to his bed knowing he won’t fall asleep until Mino came back.

Now he had Mino as well.

He smiled in the darkness.

 

_Mino._

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

During one of their training sessions, Mino injured his leg. It seemed like nothing but a scratch until it became infected and aggravated so fast he couldn’t walk anymore. His foot was all swollen and cyanosed.

“Why is he not getting any medicine?” Taehyun asked the nurse countless times, always hearing the same answer. “Only a doctor can supply him with medicine. As long as he is not dying, there is nothing to do.”

Taehyun clenched his teeth.

“If you won’t give him anything he will sure be dying in no time.”

“We will see.” the nurse said, not sparing him a glance.

“It’s fine, Taehyun”, Mino pleaded. “I’m going to be alright.” He tried to smile, but failed due to a spasm of pain.

“You will be.” Taehyun promised. He kissed his forehead gently. “Try to sleep for now. I will come back.”

“Soon?” Mino asked like a scared child, not wanting to let go of his hand.

“Of course silly.”

He went straight to the doctor’s tent. He should have done it way sooner, but for a moment, he had foolishly believed God would hear his prayer. As if he would spare him salvation. Why would he do it if he hadn't cared about him when he had been starving in the streets, or when he had been letting everyone touch his body just for a piece of bread.

“I’m busy.” He heard the doctor’s rough voice when he went inside the tent.

“I need medicine.” Taehyun stated bluntly. “I need some now.” he added.

“You’re not dying. I’m too busy for kids like you”, came the heartless reply.

“Oh, believe me. I’m no longer a kid.” he said, lowering his voice and giving off an arousing vibe. The doctor finally looked at him directly. He had small, pig-like eyes and lustful lips.

“I can see. But for me you look perfectly fine.” he was checking Taehyun out visibly. He was gross and filthy. He was the worst kind of trash. He was exactly like all the shadows from his past. Taehyun bit his lip to not show his disgust.

“My friend hurt his leg. Infection is spreading fast.” he tried sounding trivial.

“And why do you want to help him?”

“I owe him.” Taehyun started unbuttoning his shirt slowly. It didn’t take long to see the craving in the doctor’s eyes.

“Then shall we talk about the price?”

The doctor stood up and unzipped his pants.

“I thought the talk is the least what we need.” With this, Taehyun kneeled in front of him.

_I can’t afford to lose you, Mino. The things I would do for you…_

_I’m becoming a piece of dirt once again…_

_I’m not regretting it at all. It won’t hurt me at all. His kisses are washed away by the touch of your hand. The tastes of his is fading when you are smiling at me. Just please don’t ask if I’m alright, because I will need to lie._

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

They finally reached the front line. They had been trying to stop the enemy from making progress for many long days, only to find themselves making five steps backward. They were losing it.

Upon the orders of the quarters, Kang Seungyoon gave them details of the plan to cut the enemy's support line by blowing away the bridge. The only problem was to get to the back of the bridge and put bombs near the pillars. They needed to attack with everything they had.

Taehyun didn’t care about the others' safety or the mission. All he cared about was Mino. So when he saw an enemy pointing a gun at Mino, he knew what he needed to do. He tried to warn him, but his scream drowned in the storm of noise. _Come on, turn your head and look in the other direction_ , he begged in his mind. _Don’t make me do this_.

_His Mino was in danger. My Mino._

The shooter was way out of Taehyun's reach. Taehyun was too far from Mino to cover him with his own body. He lifted his gun slowly, bit his lip until he tasted blood and shot. Only then he heard a soldier named Seunghoon cursing and landing on Mino’s back with a wounded leg, the scream dying as fast as it had left when the bullet shot through his head. The bullet that wasn't supposed to touch him. Seunghoon's dead body fell on a shocked Mino. Taehyun recovered quickly enough to shoot the enemy. Then he threw up on the ground, checking Seunghoon’s blown skull.

Taehyun took a deep breath. Mino should be safe, at least for now. That was the only thing that mattered. The only thing…

“We need to blow away the bridge or we are as good as dead.” he heard Seungyoon’s scream in this turmoil of yelling and flying bullets.

The bridge.

Shit.

Before standing up, he kissed the cross Mino had given him the other night.

_“You should keep it.”_

_“You know I’m not really religi…” Taehyun started, only to be cut off by Mino._

_“I know, that’s why you should keep it.” he clutched Taehyun’s hand. “I have my prayers with me, but you have nothing. Please keep it, so I know someone is always looking over you when I’m not there.” he kissed his palm gently, and Taehyun couldn’t reject it._

“God, I’m a sinner, a killer. I’m not sure if you’re even there, but Mino… Don’t take him. Take me instead.”

Only then he started running toward the bridge.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

“I saw what you did.” Jinwoo said coldly. It was strange to see his deer eyes so cold. Taehyun lit up his cigarette.

“I saved you all.” he tried to sound as normal as he could, but his hands were shaking. It's just the cold, he tried to convince himself. They had pitched their tents in the middle of a great forest in the middle of March after all.

“I meant Seunghoon.” Jinwoo’s voice was colder than ice. He wasn’t making any moves, but Taehyun swore he was ready to attack him any second. There was something in his unmoving figure that reminded him of wild wolves.

Silence fell between them, along with the first drops of rain.

“I hope he was worth it.” Jinwoo added with something unreadable in his eyes. “Well at least it’s certain he was worth more than anyone of us.”

Taehyun just inhaled the cigarette.

“You’re going to report me?”

After a long moment of silence.

“No, it’s better to have you on our side. For now. But I won’t forget it.” Jinwoo spared him one last look, turned away and went towards the tents.

 _I won’t forget it either_ , Taehyun thought. _I won’t forget Seunghoon’s eyes when he realized what I did. The betrayal and fury turning into fear_. He had seen it all. And he was sure he was going to see it every time he closed his eyes.

“Come inside.”

The familiar voice rang in his ears. He turned around, only to face Mino’s tired expression. For that tiny smile, he knew he would do it all again.

_There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. To keep that smile on his face, I will burn my soul to dust along with the whole world if it’s needed._

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Seungyoon would only slow them down. It was clear that with him, they won’t make it. Mino needed to be at the hiding place by dawn. There was nothing left to do.

“Let’s camp here”, he commended. Everyone unpacked their things slowly. They were tired and hurt.

When he was finally surrounded by the sleeping soldiers, he went to Seungyoon’s tent without making any noise.

“Taehyun”, he weakly whispered, recognizing his figure in the candle light. “Water”, he begged.

Taehyun took out his bottle and helped him take a sip.

“I’m slowing you down.” Seungyoon whispered. He was in bad shape. “You need to relay the message to the quarters. We will be late.”

“We won’t.” Taehyun said with a hoarse voice. He grabbed the pillow behind Seungyoon’s head - the last one they had.

“But I’m in no…” Seungyoon stopped with his eyes wide open. _He had always been a sharp one_ , Taehyun thought while squishing the pillow in his hands.

“Taehyun don’t… please… mommy...”

Taehyun put the pillow on Seungyoon's face. He was pushing hard. Seungyoon was still strong, fighting for his life in his injured state. After a few long minutes, he put the pillow away. He heard nothing but silence. He crawled out of the tent. There was a perfectly clear night sky above his head, but he felt drops falling on his palms. Standing up was hard because his legs were shaking so much, like they weren’t his. He spared one last glance at Seungyoon’s face. It looked scarier with the lights from the candles playing with his features. Slowly, like he had gotten drunk, he went away from the light towards the tempting darkness around them. All shadows were watching him, hungering for him. _Not yet,_ he thought. _Not yet._

_I need to take him to the safety. It was necessary. I did what needs to be done. I made the right call. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to believe in it._

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

“He’s dead.” Mino stated the obvious fact. He was crushed with another loss, but he wasn’t crying. He had grown into a man - Taehyun couldn’t match his old Mino with this new one. He was stronger, confident, broken, but still somehow pure. He no longer feigned bravery - he _was_ brave.

“No shit.” said the other soldier, pulling out a cigarette.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if one of us murdered him” Jinwoo tried to sound like he was joking, but his eyes were on Taehyun.

 _He knows, he just doesn’t have any proof_ , he thought. He said nothing and put his hand on Mino’s back, but it was brushed away.

“We need to go.” that was all he heard.

 

_Maybe even my touch is now too much. Maybe I always wanted too much._

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

They made it to safety. The breaking news were that the war was over. They could have come later. There was no rush, they had said to them.

Taehyun went to the river. He throw up a few times. 

"It's the end." he heard Jinwoo's voice. 

Taehyun looked up at him. Maybe this was the end. He laughed humorlessly.

"Oh, you have no idea." in a second, Taehyun jumped on him. He took out the knife, ready to kill.

"You really think you can get away with what you've done?" Jinwoo said through clenched teeth, blocking his knife. "Do you really believe he will forgive you?

"He will. I did it for him. I killed them all for him!" he shouted in his face. 

_Lies. Lies. Lies. I created so many lies._

“Taehyun, STOP!” only then he felt strong arms pushing him away from Jinwoo. “Just stop”, he heard Mino’s cry. He was holding him from behind, obviously crying since he could feel his tears damping his shirt. “Please stop it.”

And he stopped. He let everyone put him in detention. He knew it was the end. It was the end because Mino’s eyes were no longer on him, but on Jinwoo on the ground. Maybe it was better. Maybe he was never made to be loved.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

_I was sentenced to death. Mino was not there. He was nowhere to be found. I tried to tell them I needed to see him. One last time, I wanted to see him. To see him smiling. To be forgiven. I screamed for him and pushed them away but they were holding me tight. I dropped cross during the fight. How can I do it without him? The next second I was on my knees, with a gun pointed to my forehead._

 

_“Mino.”_

 

 

 

Only a second after, the shot killed the silence.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

There were two boys crossing the field of sunflowers, either in oversized or undersized clothes, with big smiles. They were running until they fell on the ground breathlessly.

“Lay with me”, I said, resting my head on his chest.

“Will we come back here?” I heard his whisper. He was scared and I was not.

“Sure.” I’m stated, fully believing this was true in the sea of lies I created for myself.

“Before their petals fall?” he was pointing at the sunflowers.

“Maybe…”

_Maybe we are petals in the wind. Thrown away from each other, flying without our control only to end dead on the ground._

“ _Let’s run like this forever._ ”

I thought while we were running through the field of sunflowers, arms spread, catching the wind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 _But I wanna dream_  
I wanna dream  
Leave me to dream

 

**Author's Note:**

> This story came to me out of nowhere and I coudn't resist to write it down. 
> 
> It came out darker than I thought and It's even messier than It should be. Honestly I have nothing to make it all right. 
> 
> BIG THANK YOU FOR EDITING THIS STORY TO Vanillac!
> 
> It wouldn't be this amazing without you!
> 
> Please leave the comment below - It means a lot to me and gives strenght and motivation to keep writting and learning.
> 
> Always feel free to send me a message!


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